Noobitus - I beat it.

Some of you may have gotten to know me a bit over the past months. Mostly as a badass, foil addicted asshole and a pretty awesome guy. What you do not know, yet, is that I once suffered under the terrible disease, Noobitus. :(

It all began when I started gaming, probably still in my mother's womb as I cannot really remember when I actually started gaming. I have been growing up with gaming all my life, ever since Turbo Graphx 16 all the way up to more modern consoles, such as the PS3.

Back then, the symptoms were pretty apparent, I kept losing and got frustrated against other players every time they beat me. Back then we figured it was just because I was some dumbass kid, but now, in modern times and science, we have concluded I have Noobitus. Back then the disease was just not known, almost like AIDS or cancer.

In my early teens I diverted to extreme methods to be able to beat the more experienced and just plainly better players than me. 1337 Hax0rings. I would run around playing Counter Strike and shoot people in the head through walls or walk up to them calmly and knife them to death while they unlaod their ammunition into my undestructible face.

My 1337 Hax0rings was becoming a problem. Not only for the people I played against, if they even did that anymore, but also for myself. In addition to having Noobitus, I suffered under a Haxxing addiction. I went sent to rehab...

In rehab I was literally tortured. They didn't prevent me from playing video games, quite the contrary, I was forced to do so. Mostly games I just could not hax in. Under constant humiliation and suffering I came to realise I had a problem. I became dedicated to my cause to get rid of my addiction and beat my Noobitus!

I quickly caught on how things worked and realised that nobody can be a pro at a game after just playing for 10 minutes. I grinded simple tactics and maneuvers until I knew them by heart. Eventually, over time I could create my own tactics and strategies, mostly because I sat down and dedicated some time to get acquainted with the game.

After two long, yet awesome weeks I came out a new person. Someone who did not let his Noobitus get the better of him, someone who would beat your ass in any game, cause I am that awesome. Someone who also slept with your mom, often. I hope, by posting some of my life story here for you, you will be able to digest this and possibly get rid of your Noobitus as well.

Cheers~

Matt